I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
she told me i tasted like america
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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