I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
