I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
