another moral hangover. fuck.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
