i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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