Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I had to cum in my sink.
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