Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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