Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
