so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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