Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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