I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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