I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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