My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
