Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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