She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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