I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
