Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
