I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
