It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
