The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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