I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
