Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
