Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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