I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
