i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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