I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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