when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
