Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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