just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The feeling are messing with the penis
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize