tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
