hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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