If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize