he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
