I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
