So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
