I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
