The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize