Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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