Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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