If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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