Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
cat food counts as protein by the way
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You should frame my arrest warrant.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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