We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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