My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
