I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I look better un-naked...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Randomize
