if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize