Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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