i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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