Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm like, not good at living.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize