I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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