I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
