went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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