I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize