they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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