Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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