Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
