Sry I called you an 8
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
