i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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