alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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