i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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