there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
