what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
