we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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