I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
