and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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