Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
