Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
