I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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