Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
