we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
