We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
