Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
