it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
