but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Randomize
