I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
