Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
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