Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
