I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
