So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
