Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
