Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
